The LAMB Devours the Oscars – Best Visual Effects

by Dylan · January 29, 2008 · LAMB Devours the Oscars · 17 Comments

Editor’s note: Welcome to the second of a multi-part series dissecting the 2008 Academy Awards, brought to you by the Large Association of Movie Blogs and its assorted members. Every weekday leading up to the Oscars, a new post written by a different LAMB will be published, each covering a different category (or more) of the Oscars (there are 24 in all). To read any other posts regarding this event, please just click on the tag following the post. Thank you, and enjoy!


By Jason from Invasion of the B Movies

For my little Oscar write-up thingy, I have to talk about the nominees for Best Visual Effects, which I’m sure is every blind person’s most hated category. HA! Cause you see…visual….

Sorry, I just suffered through a Michael Bay movie. My brain is leaking. Let’s do this.

So the nominees are The Golden Compass, Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End, and last but certainly not least Transformers. Fletch told me that I didn’t have to watch any of the movies to do this post but not knowing what else to talk about, I felt I should watch at least one. Since Compass isn’t out on DVD yet, and Pirates 3 is part of a series I haven’t seen yet, I was forced to watch Michael Bay wet his panties with explosions and people sliding all over the place. AKA: Transformers.

I’m gonna try not to spend too much time on the plot, since I’m only suppose to focus on the visual aspect of this movie. But in case you are wondering, I will give a quick run-down on what the movie is about.

Based on some toys I never played with, which turned into a cartoon I never watched (I was into He-Man. I HAVE THE POWER!) the movie deals with these alien robots crashing to Earth to look for a cube. Then we focus on the zany adventures of Shia Labauf or Buff or whatever his name is, as Sam, a teenager who wants a car. Within the first ten minutes, we’re slammed with a bunch of “remember this” moments, like Sam’s great-grandfather was some explorer and he wore glasses. Seriously, he wore glasses. We need to remember this. He wore glasses.

Anyway, Sam’s Dad goes to buy him a car and a yellow car (I’m not a car expert so I dunno what kind it was suppose to be) suddenly appears and after blowing up all the other windows nearby, Sam is stuck with this one. It turns out that this car is actually one of the GOOD alien robots named Bumblebee. Yeah, that’s a tough name. Soon, Sam and his hot as fuck girlfriend played by Megan Fox (Cause she’s a Fox! ARRROO!!! Sorry…) meet the other Good Transformers.

What about the bad ones? Well, their leader crashed to Earth and was found by Sam’s great-great grandfather and, I kid you not, some map of some sort was embedded into his glasses, which now lay in possession of Sam. So all the robots, good and bad, need these glasses.

There are literally dozens, if not millions of stupid things in this movie, but that has nothing to do with visual effects. Just know that Michael Bay needs to stop making movies. Soon.

Anyway, good robots find the glasses, bad robots show up and blow shit up, John Turtorro shows up and is a crazy asshole, there’s a big battle, the leader of the bad robots is awake but he dies, and now the good robots are stuck on Earth so Shia and Hot Chick can boff on top of them. The end.

Visually, this movie is pretty good. The effects are great and even though I’m against CGI in movies, I thought it was pretty good. I dunno if it should be nominated for an Oscar, let alone win. Cause the entire movie, when stuff was blowing up, looked just like a music video. And would you nominate a music video for Best Visual Effects?

And of course this is Michael Bay we’re talking about here. He must invest in some company that makes explosives or something cause literally anytime something touches something, it explodes. There’s no just denting a thing, or just having nothing happen. It explodes. A robot looks at another robot, they explode. So a lot is going to happen visually.

To sum up, Michael Bay is evil and we shouldn’t be awarding him for making dumb movies where stuff explodes for no damn reason. As for the other two movies nominated, well they gotta be much better then this. Amirite?

(Note: usually my reviews are much more detailed but if I wrote a detail report, this thing would be like 20 pages long, and full of things like “ARRGH” and “WHY GOD WHY?”)

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17 Responses to The LAMB Devours the Oscars – Best Visual Effects

  1. Nick says:

    I thought this was more of a ‘let’s review and bash Transformers and Michael Bay’ post than a ‘Best Visual Effects’ post. You didn’t really talk about the other two movies… or visual effects in general.

    All three movies, flaws though they might have, are all laden with amazing visual effects. My opinion would be that Golden Compass has it in the bag, followed by Pirates, and then Transformers. Though the Maelstrom scene in Pirates is hardcore… and that’s probably the scene the Oscar people looked at. But I still think Golden Compass would take it.

  2. JG says:

    We’ve seen it proven year after year: Academy voters are suckers for talking armored polar bears.

    Golden Compass is a lock.

  3. Fletch says:

    Nick, you say that as though bashing Michael Bay is a bad thing. 😉

  4. Nick says:

    jg: lol…

    fletch: oh, it’s not. Though I did really enjoy Transformers (but I do agree it had its flaws).

  5. Jess says:

    I agree – Golden Compass is a lock, with a possible dark horse in Pirates if people were into the crabs carrying the ship and many Johnny Depp’s arguing with each other. Overall though, Golden Compass really had an overall flow of visual effects that were incredible from the zeppelins to the new versions of London and Jordon College. Transformers was fun, but the CGI wasn’t terrific.

  6. Fletch says:

    Can somebody please tell me (and Mrs. Fletch, who’s fuming over this) how 300 not only didn’t get nominated for this, but didn’t manage to get a single nomination??

    Costuming? Makeup? Art Direction? Nothing?

  7. Nick says:

    Fletch: for real. I figure it went something like this…

    Guy: “Alright! The decisions have been made, and everything is final.”

    Guy 2: “Oh, hey, wait! We forgot 300!”

    Guy: “…ah shit.”

  8. Jason Soto says:

    Well I do talk about the visual effects in the one movie I was able to see. I figured (and I see) that’s good enough. I tried my best to review the visual aspects of this movie and I could’ve done better but I don’t think it’s bad. It got the job done.
    And I just hate Michael Bay with a passion.

  9. mikemachacon says:

    @ jason: i like your very entertaining summary of Transformers. =o)

    of the three nominated films, The Golden Compass is the only one i haven’t seen. so, between Pirates and Transformers, i’d say the robots have a better chance at an Oscar.

    @ fletch: i agree about the 300 snub. i think it was such a visually stunning film.

    @ Michael Bay bashers: in all fairness, Mr. Bay does dish out kick ass action films. ;o)

  10. Anonymous says:

    Golden Compass is a LOCK – That is the most idiotic thing I have read today!

    Transformers is going to win, I guarantee it.

  11. Jason Soto says:

    Thanks Mike.

    I didn’t think about how 300 got snubbed. Visually, it was a good movie. If anything, it did look like the graphic novel.

    And as much as I hate Michael Bay and a lot of his movies, I guess the action sequences are good. Although the stuff in Transformers made my brain hurt.

  12. Daniel G. says:

    I agree with Jess – The Golden Compass was dazzling. I don’t know if it was because it was lacking in explosions or it was just a new kind of CGI or what. I thought it was amazing.

  13. Golden Compass SHOULD win.

    300 was robbed.

    I also didn’t think this really covered the category… but who am I to judge? I haven’t done mine yet. 🙂 And, it was hi….larious. I’ll be reading Jason’s blog.

  14. What’s with all the Michael Bay bashing? When it comes to action, there’s only 3 people who really satisfy me these days, Michael Bay, Jerry Bruckheimer and Roland Emmerich.

    Oh, an I do think The Golden Compass will win it, I just have a feeling. I haven’t seen it yet though so it’s only my intuition setting in.

  15. Foy says:

    Pirates had good aged visual effects, if that’s makes any sense.

    The whirlpool scene was incredible, as well as the waterfall (and the audio from the ride).

    Trandformers, though, had the FLASH BANG BOOM effect, which is is what will will win it, if they win it.

    And I have not seen compass, so no commente.

  16. Matt says:

    I found Transformers a lot of fun, though I did penalize it since I couldn’t tell the robots apart half the time.

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