Trailer Trashing with The Vern: 01/09/2013.

by The Vern · January 9, 2013 · Periodic Features, Trailer Trash, Uncategorized · 1 Comment

Greeting everyone.


Yes I know it has been a while since I last posted one of these articles and I am truly sorry about that. WordPress was acting like a little bitch and did not save most of this post so I had to redo about half of it.    However I will be making up for some lost time by posting a lot of trailers for you to graze on so it won’t be a complete lost.  I could delve into how much I hate WordPress right now, but I really should get on with the show and present the trailer goods for you.

The Tower.   01/11/2013

This is one of  my many  most anticipated films of the new year.  It is a Korean remake of “The Towering Inferno“.  For years we have been remaking their movies so why can’t they do the same with ours. I will say though that for the actual movie itself.  This looks pretty god damn sweet, and one I will hopefully be able to see in theatres.



Small Apartments.  09/12/2013

Director Jonas Ackerlund (“Spun“) latest feature has Matt Lucas (“Bridesmaids“)  as an odd man who meets even odder people after he kills his landlord.  It co stars Billy Crystal, Juno Temple, and Dolph Lundren as a medical doctor.  I love Ackerlund’s style, but it won’t appeal to everyone.   Most of you will just dismiss this as just being weird with nothing else going on and I can’t fault you for that.



Scary Movie 5.  04/12/2013

What the  hell people, seriously.  Why are we at number five in this franchise?  This trailer had me cringing the entire time and although it’s being written by Pat Proft and David Zucker(“The Naked Gun“)  I really can’t give any real  reason to see this .  You have to do more than just hit people in the balls to make me laugh.



Turbo.  07/19/2013

A kids movie that uses the same exact music from the trailer for “Drive” perked my interest right away.  The premise of a snail wanting to race  also gave me something unconventional and something that could be a lot of fun.  



The Incredible Burt Wonderstone  03/15/2013

Two magicians (Steve Carell and Steve Buscemi)  try to win back their audience by trying to upstage a Chris Angel like new guy(Jim Carrey).   This one has some potential because it’s head screenwriters is John Francis Daley who also helped write “Horrible Bosses“.  It had a lot of moments that made me groan, but it also had a lot of moments that made me laugh.



Ginger & Rosa. 03/15/2013

Ever since I saw her in “Babel”  Elle Fanning has been one hell of an actress.  She has worked with a lot of top-notch directors,and no matter what project she is in.  The performance will be something incredible.  Same thing goes for this new movie directed by Sally Potter(“Orlando“).   It looks really beautiful and I know the performances are going to be great by all the cast members including Annette Bening, Oliver Platt, and newcomer Alice Englert.   I just can’t help thinking that this is one of those coming of age stories where the main character tries to act much older than she is and then somewhere near the end she will break down and tell her family she loves them.  I’m not saying it will go that way, but it could.




Eli Roth(“Inglourious Basterds“)  co wrote this tale about a group of club goers who survive an earthquake only to find more problems on top.  This is a very shlocky B horror movie, and if you are not into those type of flicks, you will not enjoy this at all.   It does feature  Disney TV star Selena Gomez in her first R rated feature and the fact that it’s a horror one  puts her in my cool book.  She would get even more  super cool points from me if she allows her character to get killed in a grisly way or kills someone viciously as well.



The Last Exorcism: Part 2   03/01/2013

The first last Exorcism…. Wait a minute that doesn’t sound quite right  Let me start this again.  “The Last Exorcism” was a pretty good horror flick, and the only found footage movie that was actually enjoyable.  The ending was a complete waste because it felt like it came from another movie.  It still had some real scary moments despite it’s PG-13 rating.  I am glad that Ashley Bell is  reprising her role and it’s good they are using a more linear format to tell this story.   This one still suffers from being another movie about a  white girl possessed by the devil.  



Girls Against Boys.  02/01/2013

After a girl is raped at a party. Her and her best friend decide to punish him and the rest of his bros with extreme prejudice.  I love with when doucebag assholes get tortured so I will laughing and cheering when bad things happen to them.  This reminds me a lot of the extreme french movie “Rape Me” which basically follows the same premise.



Until next time Have a good rest of the week.

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