Trailer Trashing With The Vern: 02/15/2013

by The Vern · February 15, 2013 · Periodic Features, Trailer Trash, Uncategorized · 1 Comment

Can you feel the love tonight Lammies.


I hope you all had a great Valentines Day yesterday and spent it with the one you love.  Or if your single like me, you spent it finding the best trailers for everyone to feast on.   That’s right dear readers.  You are the ones I love the most.  I love you all so very much that I will give up any sort of social life or lack there of to bring you some new chocolate covered cinematic goodness with nougat and caramel.   So sit back and relax while I start the fire, put on some soft music, and get you in the mood for some heavy trailer watching.   Remember, the safety word is artichoke. 

Room 237.  03/29/2013


(Here is the Original Trailer for “The Shining“)

This movie just gets cooler and cooler the more I read about it. A non fiction documentary about the hidden meanings in a fictional film is nothing short of brilliant. This new trailer is the best because it copies the famous theatrical trailer of “The Shining” with the river of blood flowing from a VHS player. I can not wait to see this.

Monsters University.  06/21/2013

Have you ever wondered what the characters of “Monsters Inc” were like when they were younger? No, neither did I because it’s a stupid idea. Right from the middle part of this trailer you know exactly what each character’s arch is and where they will end up. This could have been an original movie from Dreamworks and it would have been mediocre but fine. But since this is being labeled as a Pixar movie. I have to give it a giant F.

The Internship. 07/03/2013

Own Wilson and Vince Vaughn get fired as salesmen from their job and go back to being interns at Google. While there they get a group of young misfit hackers the chance to.. Wait, wait, wait, wait one minute. This sounds an awfully a lot like “Old School“. A group of aging men who decide to act young so they re-enroll in a college program. But instead of faternities, it’s an internship.  Now I for one liked “Old School“, and found many parts of it to be funny. Can’t say I say the same about this trite of a movie.

The Numbers Station. 04/18/2013

Wow, Martin Blank has really not been the same since he left Gross Point. I sure hope another high school reunion happens soon. Ok, so this is not the same character that John Cusack played in the great 90’s comedy “Gross Point Blank“, but it really should have been. Apparently the plot of this movie has him protecting Silk Spectre aka Mailn Akerman(“Watchmen“) so she can read codes to agents on a computer. If this was made in the 90’s it would have been impressive, but right now it looks very bland.

The Host. 03/29/2013

 A young girl (Saorise Ronan) is the host for an alien species who is using her body as a vessel to help them track down a resistance army.  Yet the girl is not under complete  control and vows to fight back.  I gaurentee you that if this was not attached to Stephanie Meyer and her whole “Twilight” franchise.  There would not be as much backlash amongst film buffs as there are.  Yes I agree Andre Niccol has not made a good sci fi film since “Gattaca“, but this really doesnt look all that bad.  I hate the end song that’s used in the trailer, but that’s really the only complaint I have.

Trance.  03/27/2013

Holy shit was that ever sweet.  I had a rock hard cinematic boner while watching that trailer and when it ended.  I won’t lie,I came a little.  Danny Boyle re-teams with his “Trainspotting” writer John Hodge  to bring us this very trippy fueled feature.

Well I hope you enjoyed this edition of Trailer Trashing with The Vern.  If you like, we can cuddle for a bit, but I’m going to need my sleep. So I’ll kindly ask that you leave after I do.  I promise I’ll call.

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