The LAMB Devours the Oscars 2018: Best Visual Effects

by Jay Cluitt · February 5, 2018 · Featured, LAMB Devours the Oscars · 7 Comments

Every day until the Oscars ceremony we’ll be highlighting a different category or movie here on the LAMB! Here’s a link to all the posts written so far:

Today, Jason Soto from The Lair of the Unwanted is here to look at the nominees for Best Visual Effects.

A long time ago, literally a long time ago, I use to write movie reviews about Z-grade horror movies that featured acting so bad, it made me feel better about all the acting I’ve done in many YouTube videos I’ve been in. But I’ve quit doing that and taken some time off and started watching “good movies”. Now, none of the movies I would call “good” could technically be called Oscar movies but they were better than Forest Sleepover Party Massacre Part 7 (the best one in my humble opinion).

But when Jay asked for help to write some stuff for this years Oscars, I wanted to be a team player and help him out so I said I’d help but I had to pick a category where I at least had seen all of the movies. So that left out 90% of the movies nominated. Thankfully, the movies I HAVE seen get nominated in the junk categories that people normally leave the room for to get dinner or go to the bathroom or have sex. What, am I the only one who gets horny while watching The Oscars?

So here I am to talk about The BEST VISUAL EFFECTS EVAR!!!! These effects are the bomb, yo!! They are the best! AROUND!!! WHEE!!!!! Let’s do this!!

Blade Runner 2049

First off we got…Blade Runner 2049. Huh. I haven’t seen this movie. Lemme look at the trailer. Man, this should win best visual effects. They managed to make Harrison Ford look like Ryan Gosling. And they made Rutger Hauer look like an old Harrison Ford. Bravo! Anyway, I’m not a fan of the original Blade Runner, I thought it was boring so when a sequel was announced 40 some years later I literally yelled out “WHY GOD WHY?!?” and the bus driver kicked me off for causing a scene. He didn’t know why anyway. So…next!

Kong: Skull Island

Let’s talk about Kong Island. Or Skull Island. Or Skull: Kong Island? Something. It’s another remake of King Kong but they skipped the whole New York City part. I’m guessing whoever made this saw Peter Jackson’s remake back in 2005 and said “The stuff on the island was cool, the rest not so much” and voila we got this movie. Naturally, you need good special effects to pull off this type of movie because they just won’t hire giant monkeys. And that’s a shame. They need work too, you guys. This CGI-washing needs to stop!! Also, I haven’t seen this movie yet. What else?

War For The Planet Of The Apes

War For The Planet of the Apes! When I saw the trailer for Dawn of the Planet of the Apes I laughed cause why do we need a prequel for Planet of the Apes. We get it. Apes took over. Don’t need a two hour movie telling us why. But they wouldn’t dare remake Planet of the Apes again cause that didn’t go well last time. And I guess we need an ape movie every year? But the visual effects are good in this one too, despite the problems I outlined in Island: Skull Kong up above. And I haven’t seen this one either. Man…I thought I’d seen something in this category. What’s next?

Star Wars: The Last Jedi

OOH!!! Star Wars: The Jedi Awakens! I HAVE SEEN THIS ONE! WOO HOO!!!! OK, let’s do this!!!

Um. It’s a Star Wars movie. The effects are amazing. That’s all I got.

Guardians of the Galaxy vol. 2

OK, one last chance. Let’s see…OOH!! Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2!! OK! This needs to win it because that shot where Yondu (Michael Rooker) walks around the ship while his whistle arrow kills all the dudes on the ship was such an amazing scene. Honestly, so much of this was awesome. I mean, the young Kurt Russell looked exactly like Young Kurt Russell! The planet sequences were amazing. And Baby Groot being all Baby Groot. OK, this needs to win!! I hope this wins!! Gah, Guardians of the Galaxy 1 and 2 are such amazing movies. I’m gonna go watch them now! See ya later!

What do you think is going to win?