Sirens of the LAMBS: Asami vs. Catwoman.

by Nick Jobe · March 19, 2008 · Uncategorized · 2 Comments

(Welcome to the second official face-off of Sirens of the LAMBs! If you have not done so already, please read the previous fight and cast your vote! Remember to base it on the narratives and not just a bias!)


Warning: The following two narratives are slightly disturbing, just in case you have an unnaturally weak stomach when it comes to reading about/imagining torturous acts. Also, they hold spoilers for the movie Audition (though nothing really out there if really know the gist of what Audition is).

By Nathan from Faux Nixon.

Asami arranges a peaceable meeting inLos Angeles with Catwoman, ostensibly to discuss the male dominance of heroism in popular culture. Once there, Asami uses her signature move of subtly drugging Catwoman’s drink.

Catwoman awakens in Asami’s Japanese-decor dungeon, which she has had transported from Japan to Los Angeles, complete with her now two captive and mutilated slave-monsters: one a vomit-eating, burlap-sack stored record executive who has had both feet, his tongue, one ear, and seven fingers. He hungrily crawls from the bag and consumes the vomit.

Ayoma, her last victim, is now brought into the view of the sedated and helpless Catwoman who she injects with a secondary dosage of medication which leaves her muscles paralyzed, but her nerves completely functional, especially the pain receptors.

Since we last saw him with Asami, Ayoma is now permanently scarred on the chest from having needles driven in and moved about; likewise his eyelids are so permanently damaged by needle damage it is unlikely he is able to properly see anymore. With the assumption that Ayoma’s son has not saved him from Asami (else this conflict could not happen), both of Ayoma’s amputated feet are now in Catwoman’s view.

Paralyzed and unable to do anything but be terrified, Asami begins torturing and mutilating her in much the same manner, having won her battle with Catwoman well before any actual combat has taken place through a combination of deception and two sets of druggings and now sets about her sadistic torture of Catwoman into something more akin to a mutilated pet than a foe to ever challenge her again.

I think I should have selected a less fucked-up character, but I think being based so strongly on the movie should ensure that Catwoman’s weakness of seeking out other women to help her fight men and Asami’s exploitation of that makes this a decisive victory for Asami.


She was once the lowly executive assistant – secretary – to a wealthy businessman. But after discovering some crucial business information that threatened to ruin Max Shreck, the life of Selina Kyle was pushed to an abrupt end. Or so it seemed. Her fatal fall from a skyscraper ended her life as a lonely, single woman and gave her a new one with a feisty, double personality. After being revived by mysterious street cats, she awoke and became…


Now gifted with a new lease on life, Selina Kyle prowls the rooftops of the Gotham City as Catwoman – feline femme fatale – seeking to right wrongs, fighting on behalf of those who cannot defend themselves – albeit in her own twisted way. Armed with nine lives, sharp (homemade) claws, lethal martial arts skills, an unleashed psychosis and a whip, she lashes out at those who would do evil in her eyes with the fierceness and agility of a cat.

Tonight, she stalks the city like a feline on a hunt. Seeking to bring justice where needed, she jumps from one rooftop to the next, swings from building to building using her lariat whip. As she lands on her high-heeled feet on one of the tall buildings of the metropolis, she peers into the night and sees an apartment window. At first the scenario seems that of an arguing couple. Then she draws closer. She sees what seems to be a scuffle between a couple. She draws even closer. Much closer. Until she sees that the struggle has led the man to seemingly push the woman back to the edge of the apartment’s terrace.

“Ah, a damsel in distress,” Catwoman thought. “These bimbos always make it easy for some Batman to come and rescue them! But not tonight. This is my watch!”

She swings her way to the terrace, on a mission to rescue the woman. Upon landing on the balcony, Catwoman notices that the man is bloodied, with one foot cut off, and the woman – an Oriental – was wearing an apron and arm-length gloves made of leather.

“Hmmm… a woman after my own heart!” Selina thought, comparing the apron to her own skin-tight leather costume.

As she stepped into the balcony, the Oriental woman – she would later know her as Asami Yamazaki – kicks the bleeding man in the groin, then pushes him to the ground. The man is writhing in pain – obviously – and starts to crawl away from Asami.

“Am I interrupting something?” Catwoman purred, while she coils the whip around her body.

[email protected]#$ %^&*&^ %$#@@! {}|+_$% #@ $$?:>.” The Asian woman speaks angrily in a language that Selina has heard once before in one of the meetings Max Shreck had with corporate types. She recognized it as Japanese. She has learned a few words and phrases of it herself.

“Hmmm… an import. You’re a long way from home, gaijin!”

Asami casts a very sharp dagger look toward Catwoman while taking out a syringe from her apron. The Asian throws it towards Selina like a dart, but Catwoman avoids the needle instinctively and effectively by doing a back flip, landing on the railings of the balcony.

“You’ll have to better than that!” Catwoman says, as she prepares to pounce on the Asami.

Selina noticed that the Oriental has taken out a piece of wire and flaunted it before her, spreading it with both her hands.

“Oh! What are you gonna do? Floss me to death?” Catwoman whimsically quips.

Asami then bends down to the wounded man and wraps the wire around his neck. Not wanting to let this evil to be perpetrated, Catwoman undoes the lariat whip coiled around her body and lashes at Asami.

“Thwack!” goes her whip, hitting Asami’s right arm, loosening the grip on the piece of wire.

“And that’s just a warning! I won’t be as merciful the next time!” Selina hisses!

Furious, the Asian girl gets up, produces a knife from her apron and heads towards Selina. Still on the railing of the balcony, Catwoman lets out another crack of her whip, this time disarming Yamazaki, her knife falling to the floor. This does not deter the Asami, but instead she gets even closer to her opponent.

As the Asian gets closer, Catwoman leaps off the railing, flips through the air and lands behind Asami. As Selina lands, the next thing she sees is a fist coming to her face.


Catwoman staggers back, surprised by the power of her enemy’s fist. She didn’t see that one coming. She shakes her head from the disorienting blow. Asami wasted no time and attacks her. Selina finally lets loose her fury and gives her enemy a spin kick, throwing Asami to the floor.

The Asian attempts to get up but is pushed back to the floor by Catwoman’s high-heeled left foot.

“Stay down, witch! You’ve done enough menace on this man… And to think I came here to rescue you! If I had a choice, I wouldn’t touch you to scratch you…”

Just as Catwoman was bending over to grab the Asian by the hair, she suddenly felt a stinging pain on her leg.

“What…?” she exclaims in surprise. Selina looks down and sees a needle jabbed by Asami on her right leg. Just then, she starts to feel numb from her leg up. Catwoman starts to lose her balance, then falls to the floor. Asami had injected her with a paralyzing agent, which renders the body motionless but still pervious to pain.

With Catwoman now lying motionless on the floor, Asami rises up and stands up above her, looking down on her with vengeful, hateful eyes. She bends down and grabs Selina by the ankles and brings her numb body into the apartment’s kitchen. Once inside, the Oriental opens one of the kitchen drawers and takes out a paring knife and a carving knife. She places them just beside Catwoman’s head. Asami then proceeds to the bedroom and brings out a burlap sack and a satchel full of more syringes.

With her operating equipment ready and Catwoman still motionless on the floor, Yamazaki bends down beside her prey and picks up the carving knife. She takes the knife to Selina’s face, pointing it toward her left eye. Then to her right eye. Perhaps choosing which eye to inflict pain on first. Asami lifts the mask from Catwoman’s face and pries the rest of it with the knife. She slices through the left eye hole of the mask. The Oriental is ecstatic.

She then grazes Selina’s face with the tip of the knife, leaving a wound that looked like a path of a teardrop from her left cheek down to her chin. Catwoman tries to writhe in pain but her body is still numb from the paralyzing agent injected into her veins.

Asami seems to be enjoying herself as she tortures her enemy slowly, playfully. She reaches for her satchel of needles and prepares to inflict even more pain on Catwoman. Asami chooses the syringe with the longest needle and takes it out of the satchel. She then points it at Selina’s left eye. She has chosen her next target for pain infliction.

Preparing to jab the needle deep into her enemy’s left eye, Asami raises the syringe up in the air. She thrusts the needle down but finds that a hand has prevented her from inflicting damage.

“In case you didn’t know: I still have one life left!” Catwoman slyly says to a shocked Asami, who is bewildered as to how her victim defied the effects of the paralyzing agent.

As Selina pushes back her opponent’s arm with one hand, she takes her other clawed hand and swings it across Asami’s porcelain toned face, leaving gashes all over her visage. This causes the torturer to scream in pain and back away from Catwoman.

Both females get up from the floor. Both knowing one has to kill the other.

Catwoman goes for her whip left behind near the balcony area. Asami goes for the carving knife on the floor. Catwoman lashes her whip out toward her opponent. Asami dodges the tip of the lariat by mere inches and throws the knife at Selina, who manages to avoid it with her feline agility.

As the Asian charges toward her, Catwoman stops her at her tracks with a series of high kicks – first to the opponent’s stomach, then to her chest, then to her face. And, as is that wasn’t enough, she rabidly lets out the rest of her claws and scratches Asami all over her body like she was Selina’s scratching post. The Asian is by now bloodied and wounded all over, but Catwoman isn’t done yet.

She grabs Asami by the hair and leads her to the balcony.

“Now, let’s see how many lives you have!”

Catwoman throws here enemy off the balcony.

“I am Catwoman. Hear me roar!”

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2 Responses to Sirens of the LAMBS: Asami vs. Catwoman.

  1. WaywardJam says:

    If I win my round, I am not looking forward to battling either of you! Then again, it would be loads of fun!

    Now to cast my vote…decisions, decisions.

  2. princess says:



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